Session One Week Three – Blurred Lines Questions for Contemplation

Let’s begin by returning to the five stages. It can sometimes be difficult to draw hard lines in our life, but establishing structure for your practice is as important as being open to change. How comfortable are you with the practice of putting relationships into boxes? Do you feel like you’re being judgmental or limiting yourself? How comfortable are you categorizing relationships?

How easy is the practice for you? Are the rules for your categories clear? Are there any areas of your relationships that are more difficult than others? Are your boundaries between friends and companions as clear as your boundaries between strangers and acquaintances? If not, where do you need more clarity?

Now I would like to review what can be one of the most difficult parts of this process. How clear are you about the relationships you have now and where they land on your chart? How many of your friends do you have companion level expectations with? Or how many are really acquaintances? Do all of your relationships meet all the rules of your categories?

I would like you to review and contemplate the people on your lists this week. Don’t judge your choices or worry about making changes to the relationships themselves. Just contemplate the relationship and see if it’s meeting the requirements of the category you have chosen. If it isn’t, be willing to move it. Again, you don’t need to change the dynamic of the relationship, just clarify where your relationships exist. Are there any places in your life where you have been wishing a relationship could be something it isn’t? Are there any relationships where you haven’t been giving the relationship enough credit?

I would like to stress one final time that you don’t need to do anything about the discrepancies. Don’t try to make up for anything or judge others for falling short. This exercise is an exercise in clarity. Being aware is powerful, but we are not here to just change the relationships we already have. Our focus should always be on where we’re going next. As you move forward, what would you like to be sure you consider in the different levels of relationship you establish? Consider the answer in both in how you are treated and how you treat others and make sure you add it to the appropriate category in your journal.