A Real Look at Relationships Day Four Questions for Contemplation

Now that we’ve established our most intimate relationships, let’s take a look at the stage of Friend. This is the broadest, most complicated stage of relationships. This is where we get to make many of our big decisions. Contemplate today what it means to you to be a friend. What initial definitions would you put on this stage of relationships? Take as many days as you need to make a list that you feel is complete. How do you define friendship?

Using your contemplation from yesterday—if you haven’t already done so—create a list of keywords you would use to define friendship and add them to your journal. This is your established eco-system for Friends. How wide a range of friends do you have in your life? Do you have a lot of rules for friendship or are you pretty open to allowing a wide variety of friends into your life?

Now that you’ve established a clear definition of what friends mean to you, add a list of all the people you consider your friends to your journal. Even if you feel unsure at the moment of how you would define a particular friend or even friends in general, add anyone to your list that doesn’t fit at another stage. You can move them later if necessary. Life is fluid. The dynamics of relationships ebb and flow. As you gain a clearer understanding of the life you want to create, assigning people to categories will become easier. As a note: don’t worry about judging where you put people’s names. We all have measurements. If a person doesn’t fit your life as more than a friend, this is not a matter of right or wrong, it is just a statement of eco-system, of what works for you and what doesn’t. Palm trees are no less a tree because they don’t grow in mountain climates. They are just a part of a different eco-system. All of life has its structures. This is just an exercise in you becoming clear about yours.

As you continue with the day, contemplate your Friends list and ask yourself, how full is my life? Do you have as many friends as you would like to have? Do you have too many? Are Friendships something that are easy for you or do you sometimes struggle with transitioning between stages? Again, we won’t judge here. Just become aware.