186_Chapter Four – Day 24 part one

I am not sure what happened over the last few days. I have been ill and asking if I should write. The answer is always ‘No.’ I can’t say I was disappointed. My visits were not pleasant, and I’ve been so sick, I didn’t feel I could withstand another barrage of insults.

While in the shower today, I asked again, “Should I write?” 

‘Yes.’ 

I didn’t know when I would have time before work, but I had the impression it would happen when it needed to happen. There was no angst, just quiet confidence that I would know.

After getting out of the shower, Anna came to me complaining of being sick. I wasn’t surprised. I’m sick, and she’s been showing symptoms. So, I decided I would just write until I worked, as I was saving the time driving her to school. It all sounds so inconsequential, but my decisions weren’t arbitrary. While getting her some bedding and a movie, she said, “I need the light on.”

“Why? You usually like the light of the show?”

“I had a big thought that scared me.”

“On no.” I paused for a moment after the words. The sentence was so out of character. So, I sat on the edge of her bed, asking, “What happened? Do you want to talk about it?”

Usually, when she has a bad dream, and I ask her if she wants to talk about it, she says, ”No.” This morning, she surprised me by saying, “Yes.

“In the thought, you gave me a dime, and I wanted to buy some chocolate. So, I went downstairs to show Debbie, but I wasn’t in the basement anymore when I got down there. I was in a log cabin, and it was completely trashed. Everything was thrown everywhere. Then, I heard a scary voice.”

“What was the voice? Do you remember what it said?”  

“It was a creepy laugh. There was a green light, and I thought, ‘the light is where the laugh is coming from.’

“When I heard the laugh, I ran from the voice and toward a door that was torn from its hinges. As I ran, another door started to swing open slowly. I didn’t wait to see why. I ran through the open door and away from the swinging door. After going out, I went up three stairs, and I was on a stone. The air was filled with dust and nothing was there. It was completely empty. Everything was gone and there was only dust.”

Initially, I was concerned she might be talking about Amber’s cabin. I couldn’t imagine anything would happen there. It just didn’t make sense, but her story alarmed me.

“Is it okay if I ask some questions?” I am always careful to respect her boundaries. I know if she feels pushed or anxious, she won’t share, but this seems significant. 

She nods, and I realize she probably senses the same. 

“Why do you call it a thought and not a dream?

“Because I’ve had the thought a lot lately.”

I realized something. This cabin is what is left of Amber within him. The cottage where Amber now lives is on the other side. This cabin would have been one she felt inside before she passed. The cabin Anna was seeing would have been where she was when he was pursuing her. It is all he has left of her. Now, I know Anna has visited this cabin, and maybe I must as well. Perhaps while he is distracted with me in the cave, I can go and sever his tie to her family. I fear the risk this poses to my own, but I know now the potential danger if I do nothing is much greater. Anna already sees too much. I must press forward.

“I’m going to take care of that thought today, Anna. I promise, and do you know what else? I think, when I do, we are both going to feel a lot better.”

She nods knowingly. The girl is young, but she is wise. 

I tuck her in one last time and head to my computer. Calmly checking in with my Spirit Guides, I ask, “Is my idea of going to ‘his cabin’ correct?”

‘Yes. You must go there now. He is awake and is frustrated. You are meditating and have not responded for days.” 

I sense his rage and see flashes of him there. He has attempted, upon several occasions, to attack me physically, but I see now why the Spirits guided me to create a sage circle. He cannot touch me here. 

‘Take advantage of his rage.’

These are the last words before the room falls quiet around me. While he rages, I will go to his cabin. I sense the other one; the pursuer watches me closely. Suddenly, he is aware I am not like any of his previous victims. I may not be as easy as he anticipated, but I cannot think of what he sees. For now, he is not my concern. For now, I must focus on the other one.